Dear Madison

When I found out I was pregnant with you, I broke down in tears. I hoped and prayed for you, so when I finally found out I was pregnant with you I couldn’t help myself. I had very simple plans for us once you were born. We would drop McKenzie at camp, maybe go for a walk by the beach, or visit one of your other new friends.

Instead, you were born during a global pandemic. 2020 was supposed to be an amazing year for so many, but the world came crashing down when the Coronavirus started to spread in March. We went into lockdown. We weren’t supposed to leave our homes, see our friends, or even hug our family. You were in my belly. In the strangest time, I had a little fetus growing inside me that I needed to protect. I was brave at first, maybe naive. I had many moments filled with anxiety, filled with moments of“what if”. There were some moments that I wished I could just keep you inside of me. That I wouldn’t need to bring you into a world where you couldn’t see people’s smiles behind their masks, where you couldn’t be held by your grandparents. 

Madison, I’m so glad you are here. You bring so much joy to our family. You make me forget what is happening in the world. Your smile brings brightens a room. I have never felt more confident that I will do anything in my power to protect you and your sister. So yes, I had very different plans for you and I in 2020, but part of me also feels like I wouldn’t have had this year any other way. Being safe at home with you, having you all to myself some days because I wouldn’t let anyone else touch you. It was exhausting, Madison. The way you smile at me makes me feel like we did exactly what we needed to do. 2020 was a strange year, but I learned so much about what is most important to me. I worried a lot, I cried a lot – but in the end all I know is the health and happiness of our family is all that matters to me. You are everything that I could ask for in a baby. Thank you for making 2020 a year I will never forget, because you made it better.

Your Mama

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