Finding out I was pregnant.

I was waiting for a signal. We had been trying to conceive since May and it wasn’t until October 18th that I finally had a positive test. I thought it would be easier to get pregnant this time around. I know when I ovulate but of course it’s all about timing. I didn’t have any symptoms, and I had one of those “find out 6 days before your missed period” pregnancy tests. I took the test 5 days before and saw a negative, again. I felt sad. I thought for sure we had the right timing this month. Brian was optimistic, “you find out that you’re pregnant yet”? I told him I wasn’t but that same day, I went into our gym to workout and just felt different. We had a long day but I was more tired and couldn’t focus. I went upstairs and took a test and there it was, a “yes”. I broke down. I went to find Brian, he was napping so I thought “do I wake him? Do I do something cute to tell him”? I can’t keep secrets from him, I woke him and handed him my test. He said “what is this” and I started crying. He pulled me in close and whispered “I told you”. 
My sweet Brian has a way with optimism, I like to think I’m realistic and he’s optimistic. We looked at each other and he said “we need a bigger house” and I said “no, you just need to stop buying toys”. 

Some early symptoms I had at 4 weeks.
Leg weakness/fatigue – almost like you feel like you’re going to get a charlie horse but never do. This probably lasted for 2 weeks.
Tender/swollen breasts– I remember getting this before my missed period when I was pregnant with McKenzie. It feels like you’re going to get your period but once you realize you are pregnant you realize how much more intense the swelling is. My boobs also grew like 2 sizes in 4 weeks.
Migraines-one of my least favorite symptoms but luckily I only had 2-3 early on and have just been drinking crazy amounts of water to avoid these.

The first trimester is ROUGH. I had really forgotten what it was like to be pregnant and it was all quickly coming back to me. I started to get heartburn and nausea most of the day, I was throwing up at night a few times. Luckily the sickness finally stopped at 15 weeks, much later than I had anticipated. The most drastic change for me was how exhausted I was. I mean absolutely exhausted. Granted I have a 2 year this time, but even on days where we weren’t doing much I was so so tired. I basically napped every time that McKenzie napped. I felt so guilty. I went from totally having my shit together as a stay at home Mom, making healthy meals, straightening up the house, working out, working on my blog, to basically a complete stop. I would cry to Brian about how bad I felt giving McKenzie peanut butter and jelly or mac and cheese every other night. He would tell me to relax, it’s not a big deal she is happy and healthy and I’m pregnant not to be so hard on myself. You’re insanely hormonal the first trimester, like crazy town. I would cry all the time. One night I told Brian I was going to bed and went upstairs and got so upset I was alone that I came back down and started hysterically crying in his arms. Luckily this is the second go around so he knows what to expect of me, but I was a hot mess.

We were so excited! We told our families and then our best friends after 8 weeks. I started to show very early, I’d say around 7 weeks my pants were hard to button and by 12 I was in my maternity pants. McKenzie sort of gets it, she says ‘there is a baby in Mommy’s belly’ when you ask her and she will kiss my belly if I ask her if she wants to give the baby a kiss. I think once my stomach is huge it might click a little more. Unless she really gets it and is just nonchalant about it.

McKenzie will be 3 when the baby comes which I’m very excited for. I would have liked them to be a little closer in age, but seeing how much McKenzie’s behavior has improved and can be controlled better over time has me more excited about their age gap! We also won’t be finding out the gender of the baby again. It was the BEST surprise finding out we had a girl when McKenzie was born and I can’t wait to feel that rush again!

Stay Tuned!

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